Losing Myself in You
by TechWriter2
Summary: She loves Tristan with every fiber of her being. This she knows. Tristan is the wildcard in this situation, and she's never been much of a gambler. :Tristan/Rory:


**Pairing:** Tristan DuGray/Rory Gilmore  
><strong>Summary:<strong> She loves Tristan with every fiber of her being. This she knows. Tristan is the wildcard in this situation, and she's never been much of a gambler.  
><strong>Category:<strong> Angst/Romance  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong>I do not own Tristan DuGray, Rory Gilmore or any other Gilmore Girls character appearing in this oneshot. Nor do I own the lyrics for "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" (those belong to Toby Keith). I do, however, own Elisa DuGray and Rich.

She has always hated these types of events. These events where everyone is there pretending to be something they're not - where you are forced to "mingle" with people who don't really know you. She doesn't care about these people, and they don't really care about her. Yet, she is expected to smile and nod while Bunny, Candy, or "insert name of trophy wife here" inquires about her family, her relationship status, or what she thinks about the latest Hartford scandal. When, in all actuality, all she can think about is plotting her method of escape, what she's going to do once she escapes, and how she can avoid this type of situation in the future.

It occurs to her that if she wasn't such a good girl, she could do what her mother once did (minus the getting pregnant at 16). And, as she sips on her merlot, she curses her inability to intentionally disappoint those around her. She blames her father for that trait.

She's been standing in the corner people watching for far too long and knows that she will soon have to start mingling again lest her grandparents come over and drag her to meet "some nice young man" with a trust fund large enough to feed a third world country for years. She's met too many of those, and there is no one in attendance tonight that could save her from that fate. Usually, Finn and/or Tristan would be there; however, this evening Finn was informed that he was expected at a formal dinner with his almost always absent parents, and Tristan was too busy researching precedents for a case he was working on. As if it weren't bad enough that she had no one, this particular event called for dancing. This meant that not only was she expected to mingle and meet nice young men her grandparents approved of, but she was also expected to dance with those nice young men.

She finished her last sip of merlot as her grandparents came looking for her. She smiled brightly as they introduced her to Rich. Rich was a nice, hardworking investment banker who lived in New York. Emily Gilmore and his mother often played bridge together at the club. Rich, it seemed, was newly single, and Emily thought it would be great if Rory and Rich (she almost puked at the unintentionally alteration) got to know each other better. It didn't seem to matter that Rory lived in Boston - not New York. Apparently, according to Emily, Rory (who has always wanted to work for the New York Times) is fed up with her job at the Boston Globe, so maybe if Rory and Rich hit it off...who knows what could happen. Leaving her society smile in place, she watched as her grandmother walked away leaving her in the company of Rich.

She continued to smile politely while Rich asked the same inane questions that everyone else asks. Does she enjoy her career? Yes, she's always wanted to be a journalist (she leaves out the bit about Christine Amanpour as that's reserved for people that really know her). Does she like living in Boston? Yes, that's where her father and step-sister live. She has great friends that live there as well. What does she like to do in her spare time? She enjoys reading, writing (she's working on a fictional novel based on her life), and hanging out with her friends (drinking dirty martinis and singing karaoke with Finn; mocking terrible TV shows and movies with Tristan; taking crazy self-defense classes with Paris). She's about to launch into a speech about how she sees someone she knows across the room when she feels a warm hand caressing her lower back and hears a smooth voice apologizing for being late.

She smiles at the newcomer telling him it's okay. They both turn to Rich, her flashing a genuine "Rory Gilmore" smile and him smirking as if he's the cat that just ate the canary. Tristan then introduces himself to Rich. He does not blatantly state that he's the possessive boyfriend, but he does nothing to dissuade that notion that either. Instead, he lets Rich draw his own conclusions, and after a minute or two, Rich decides that he does not need to get to know Rory better.

Turning to Tristan, she demands to know how he was able to get out of work so that he could attend this function. He, however, has no time to answer as Elisa DuGray has reached them. She hugs her son, fussing over his semi-crooked tie, and begins a polite conversation with Rory. Soon the strains of a light jazz song begin to play, and Elisa insists that Tristan and Rory dance.

It's no secret to either Rory or Tristan (or anyone else in Hartford society) that Elisa holds high hopes that the two will fall madly in love, get married and produce adorable blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies. In fact, if Elisa had her way, Rory and Tristan would have been married years ago when they literally crashed into each other on a busy Boston street. Rory, with her nose stuck in a book, failed to notice an equally distracted Tristan, who was cursing to someone on his cellphone.

At his mother's insistence, Tristan leads Rory to the dance floor. Pulling her close, he whispers low in her ear that he finished his research early and knew that she would be on her own this evening. She smiles calling him her white knight. Closing her eyes, she gets lost in the music and the feeling of his arms around her. When she opens her eyes again, she notices that they have drawn quite a few smiles from the older men and women in the crowd. She turns her head to whisper to Tristan and is met with his deep blue eyes. Feeling a spark of electricity, she does nothing but stare at him. This is not the first time she has felt this way about her friend. In fact, she battles this intense longing on a daily basis.

She loves Tristan with every fiber of her being. This she knows. Tristan is the wildcard in this situation, and she's never been much of a gambler. So, she plays it safe. With no risk comes no reward, but there is also no chance for rejection. And as true as it is that her heart is racing in anticipation, it is also racing partly out of fear. Because while nothing would compare to the feeling of being loved completely by Tristan, nothing would compare to the heartache and devastation that she would suffer in being rejected by Tristan. In the end, he could break her beyond repair.

As the song fades out, she watches as he leans in, his lips brushing softly against her mouth.

_They're all watchin' us now  
>They think we're falling in love<br>They'd never believe we're just friends  
>When you kiss me like this<br>I think you mean it like that  
>If you do baby kiss me again<em>


End file.
